Ramblings of a Cold Texan
I'm fairly certain that they don't have these up north. Correct me if i'm wrong.
In the south, our weather forecasts can include the "Hard Freeze Warning." This is to let us know that it's going to be cold enough for long enough, that our unprotected southern pipes may freeze, and our outdoor plants are probably going to die.
Since my parents and much of my family lives in the land of the perpetual freezer, i sometimes look upon us here in the south, with northerners' eyes . . . and scoff.
We're having a weather emergency because we might get 8 solid hours of below freezing temperatures in a row. That's our emergency.
I don't think my mother has seen above freezing temperatures for a solid 8 hours in the last 8 weeks. Oh, and i checked.....there's no "Hard Freeze Warning" in Michigan. Just a prediction for an eternity of cold frigidness, with snow, followed by bone shattering unutterable winter.
But it doesn't matter. This is the south.
Last year, in a fitful winter, we had a solid 24 hours of below freezing temperatures.
They shut down the school. It didn't even snow that time. It was just cold.
We can't risk letting our southern children out of the house in the cold! Think about it. We don't even have winter coats. Everybody knows that winter only lasts a month down here. We just wear a sweat shirt and long pants that month.
If you're really prepared, you own a hoodie.
Please pray for us. We have thin southern blood, and it's going to be 18 degrees tonight. It's cold in here.
But the real cause for concern. The well. We have the water well sheltered and protected by a heat lamp tonight. The chickens will have to deal with the cold on their own; the well gets the heat lamp tonight.
Just kidding. Kind of.
Because if the cold causes the well to have some sort of unhappy accident . . . well, last year, we went 3 weeks without running water.
Brr.....AND....pee yoo!
So this is me, a southern Texan, facing 8 whole hours of truly cold temperatures, asking you, the northerners, who are enduring your regular 8 months of unspeakable winter, to pray for us. We're not like you. We can't handle the cold. We live in Texas for a reason, you know.
Talk to you tomorrow.
I hope.
In the south, our weather forecasts can include the "Hard Freeze Warning." This is to let us know that it's going to be cold enough for long enough, that our unprotected southern pipes may freeze, and our outdoor plants are probably going to die.
Since my parents and much of my family lives in the land of the perpetual freezer, i sometimes look upon us here in the south, with northerners' eyes . . . and scoff.
We're having a weather emergency because we might get 8 solid hours of below freezing temperatures in a row. That's our emergency.
I don't think my mother has seen above freezing temperatures for a solid 8 hours in the last 8 weeks. Oh, and i checked.....there's no "Hard Freeze Warning" in Michigan. Just a prediction for an eternity of cold frigidness, with snow, followed by bone shattering unutterable winter.
But it doesn't matter. This is the south.
Last year, in a fitful winter, we had a solid 24 hours of below freezing temperatures.
They shut down the school. It didn't even snow that time. It was just cold.
We can't risk letting our southern children out of the house in the cold! Think about it. We don't even have winter coats. Everybody knows that winter only lasts a month down here. We just wear a sweat shirt and long pants that month.
If you're really prepared, you own a hoodie.
Please pray for us. We have thin southern blood, and it's going to be 18 degrees tonight. It's cold in here.
But the real cause for concern. The well. We have the water well sheltered and protected by a heat lamp tonight. The chickens will have to deal with the cold on their own; the well gets the heat lamp tonight.
Just kidding. Kind of.
Because if the cold causes the well to have some sort of unhappy accident . . . well, last year, we went 3 weeks without running water.
Brr.....AND....pee yoo!
So this is me, a southern Texan, facing 8 whole hours of truly cold temperatures, asking you, the northerners, who are enduring your regular 8 months of unspeakable winter, to pray for us. We're not like you. We can't handle the cold. We live in Texas for a reason, you know.
Talk to you tomorrow.
I hope.
This fellow southerner (in GA) totally understands! I bet they also don't have runs on the grocery stores b/c of the temps either....
ReplyDeleteI'll send warm thoughts and prayers your way if you send them mine ;-) (And at least you got your GSSH to snuggle up with! I only have lots of pillows :D)
God bless!
Chilling commentary !
ReplyDeleteHere in California, we feel your pain.
My sentiments exactly, Beth. I'm a cold weather wienie! Tonight I have to drive to church in a truck with no heat so I'm hoping to plug a heater into the lighter. One can only drive under so many blankets :)
ReplyDeleteFrom someone in PA, I will pray, but thanks for the humorous way you put it!
ReplyDeleteAs a South Carolina girl, I can totally relate. The temp here today hit 40, I think, and I have done nothing but sit in front of a fire and complain about the cold. Meanwhile, my dad called me with temps in the 0's and "hope" of seeing double digits today (this is in the Midwest).
ReplyDelete